Craigslist unicorns

Is it possible to fall in love with a voice?

I certainly felt the tug in my stomach as I listened to him speak on the phone. Tom had a deep, rich voice that was confidant and somewhat teasing. He had called for us to set up a place and time to meet him and his girlfriend, Diana. I only had a picture of them to contemplate with the voice I heard; in it, he looked like the all-American football player and, she, a pixie of a thing with pale blue eyes.

We had “met” them on Craigslist, that strange place where you can find housing, a dining room set, or a fuck in the woods by someone you’ll never see again. It is surprisingly hard to find sane people on the host of “encounters” pages and my partner and I had been looking for months for another couple to play with as we learned how an open relationship works outside of theoretical scenarios.

Emails  flew back and forth, going from strangely formal introductions and explanations, to more causal flirtatious dialogues and winky emoticons. They, like us, were graduate students, but they were several years ahead of us and seemed much more “with it”. Tom, especially, had had a lot of experience in what some might call “deviant” behavior – meeting and fucking girls around the corner from where he lived as a teen, going to house parties where girls would fuck animals, and inviting groups of men to come fuck his girlfriend while he watched. We were slightly in awe of all the things he had experienced.

Our first meeting was at a bar. They knew the place whereas it was our first time and, while we had all exchanged pictures, it was always a risk that what you got wasn’t what you might actually get. We spotted them and awkwardly wound our way through the maze of patio furniture to their table. We shook hands, which felt laughably, bewilderingly, funny. Like, “hey, we’ve all agreed that we’re going to fuck soon, but pleased to meet you, how are you doing.”

To be honest, I think I had built up the image of what he would look like with that voice that I was actually a bit disappointed at first. While his face was the same, he was heavier than the picture indicated and I was a bit uncertain about how I felt about this. Diana, on the other hand, looked much thinner than in the photo, in more of a pinched way. Afterwards when we discussed the meeting, we were in agreement that they had slightly misled us.

Conversation was bit odd, given that we had already talked about boundaries and fetishes on email, but suddenly were in a situation where we had to quickly round out each others’ personalities. We ate pizza and drank beer like any other table, but I doubt they were discussing getting tested for AIDS or exploring bisexuality.

I noticed an oddity in the conversation which was to be repeated throughout the length of our 4-some: Tom was always the chatty, more extroverted, partner of the two, while Diana tended to stay quiet and only venturing to say something every now and again. It wasn’t clear to me then whether she was nervous, like me (though I tend to chatter away in nerves), disinterested, or cautious. This difference in their separate approach to us would eventually lead to unsettled feelings and be a cause of much distress.

At one point in the evening, Tom and I had been left alone as the other two left to use the bathroom. My hands were sweating nervously, as I didn’t know what to do or say to him, having been a bit bowed over by his presence.  I remember watching his mouth as he turned to speak to me, his lips shifting and showing the even white teeth beneath. He said that he and Diana found us both “hot” but that she was on her period and didn’t want to “do anything” tonight. He was disappointed, he said, but couldn’t wait to see me naked and fuck me. I’ll readily admit that I was already turned on by this point in the evening and this only added a twist to the pleasure.

It is one thing to be in a relationship where it is implicit that you find the other person attractive and it is acceptable and desirable to have your partner tell you that they want to fuck you. It is quite another to have someone you barely know, but find attractive, reciprocate your lustful feelings. I wanted to press myself against him to see what if felt like, to touch his face and kiss his lips, but restraining myself only served to enhance the twist in my stomach in the most pleasing and torturous way.

Saying our good-byes in the parking lot, we got past the handshakes and awkward waves and onto full-on awkward hugs. It felt, again, so ridiculous, this strange almost-pantomime of normality when we were well on our way to a relationship that revolved around fucking each other silly.

The sexual tension that we had built up over the course of the evening – the day, really – barely kept itself together before James and I got home. We were tripping over ourselves trying to get our clothes off as fast as possible and tumbled into bed. We had always had good, satisfying sex, but our senses had been heightened from the meeting and the orgasm was strong and clenching as I came on top of him. He barely lasted a moment longer.

Even though we hadn’t yet fucked them, just the tantalizing possibility had given us both a massive sexual high. When we had caught our breath and hashed through the evening, we hopped back online, only to find an email from them waiting for us.