I can only come if my legs are tensed. As much as I love fucking while seated, or bent over, nothing will happen unless my legs can be in a position where they are strained as if waiting to sprint. The only instance where I am able to have a (small) orgasm without this bit of leg-work is if my partner comes while we’re in doggy position and then collapses onto me, his penis still inside. The experience of feeling your partner’s arousal, determination, and release in that position is so stimulating that it sets off mini-waves.
My current partner is not only understanding of this leg issue, but is almost annoyingly perceptive about my sexual quirks and needs, to the point where I’m sure I can’t actually fool him with a faked orgasm. So, yes, any previous partners that experienced me “coming” while in a sexier position than having my legs locked like they’re in an invisible brace have been misled.
It’s interesting to think about this deception. Is it to protect yourself or the other person? Perhaps your partner isn’t very good at giving what you need to come. Perhaps you want to save their ego (though, letting someone believe that they’re good when they could be better will only benefit the future you or anyone else they may come in contact with, and could stop this cycle of sexual frustration). Perhaps you’re embarrassed to tell them what to do. Or, perhaps you’re embarrassed by what you need in order to make it a go and just decide to fake it until:
- you break up/stop boning them and you psych yourself up to embrace your needs with your next partner
- you dig out the words either out of frustration or after having been with them long enough to feel comfortable, at which point it might be a bit awkward to admit that you’ve been faking it the whole time, or
- they realize that you aren’t actually coming and, through some sexual brain MRI-like powers, are able to deduct what it is you exactly need; this last option seems to be how most people go about it.
My reason for the deception was being a bit embarrassed about needing this configuration of my lower limbs. Only two of my partners are aware of this and I have gone through entire liaisons without ever having had an orgasm due to them. You know the stereotype that, as women age, they tend to know more about what they want and are willing to do what it takes to get it (at least sexually…and in other departments we are still ramming up against the un-justness of the real world)? That is a stereotype that is true for me. That, and finding partners who are determined that you have an orgasm and are active and receptive to doing what needs doing to make it happen. Having those two things collide result in magical sparks when you get down.
But, wait, you say…does that mean you’ve only been able to come with two of your partners? This is actually not true and will have to wait for another day. Let us say that transgressions are extremely hot. Often stupid, but hot.
I’ve wondered about this quirk for many years and the only thing that comes (ha!) to mind is that when I started masturbating as a young child I would engage in frottage – rubbing up against something – with my little blue and yellow teddy bear. I would do it lying on my front with the teddy mashed up against my pubic bone and it is perhaps the result of learning to masturbate in this position that has led me to associate coming with having my legs locked, as you need a bit of leverage with them as you bear down on the bear.
What about you? Do you need certain things to be “right” before you can finish? Is it a certain position? Being the dominant or submissive one? Hearing your partner moan or absolute silence? Do let me know in the comments.